


Connor Murphy's Day Off

by fandomwhiffler



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AU, Connor is sorta nice, Ferris Buellers Day Off - Freeform, Joke Fic, M/M, Or atleast he's nicer than in the musical, Sweet and pure, dont expect there to be much angst, gay babies, poor Jared, you should probably watch the movie this is based off of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-18 18:13:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10622370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomwhiffler/pseuds/fandomwhiffler
Summary: Connor Murphy is on his ninth sick day. He better make it count.





	1. Faking It.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So, it's currently 12:48 am and I'm tired as hell. Also, a lot of dialogue here and in the next chapter is taken mostly from the movie.

“Conner? Conner?”

Pause.

“Larry!”

Another familiar voice could be heard, now.

“What’s the matter?”

“Oh, it’s Connor.”

“What wrong?”

“Whats wrong?! For goodness sake, look at him, honey!” 

Following this sentence is Cynthia pointing at Connor, who has a pretty strange expression on his face. 

“Did he get high last night?” 

“No! He’s just not feeling well. He doesn’t have a fever, but he says he’s seeing spots and that his stomach hurts.”

“...What’s the matter, Connor?”

For the first time since this whole exchanged started, Connor speaks, “Papa?”

 

Cynthia looks over at Larry, a worried expression on her face, “Go on and feel his hands. They’re cold and clammy.” 

Connor reaches out his hand to Larry for him to feel, he takes it and puts a hand above and below Connor's. 

“I’m fine...”

 

Suddenly, a new voice joins into the conversation. 

“Whats this? What’s his problem?” Standing there is Zoe Murphy, her hands on her hips and an impatient look on her face. 

“He’s not feeling well.” Cynthia responds, turning to face her daughter.

Obviously, Zoe is not buying it. “Yeah, right!”

Well, let’s see if Connor can convince her. “Zoe! Is that you?” He stops talking to blink his eyes a few times, then he continues on with what he was saying. “Zoe? I can’t see that far! Zoe? Zoe? I…” 

For dramatic effect, Connor lifts himself slightly off the bed, but falls back down seconds after.

“Bite a big one, Connor.”

This gets an eye roll from Cynthia, followed by, “Alright! Thank you, Zoe, get to school!” While Cynthia is talking, Connor gives Zoe a little wink.

“Wait, you’re going to let him stay home? I can’t believe this! If I was bleeding out of my eyes you guys would make me go to school! This is so unfair.”

In the most monotone voice, Connor replies to this. “Zoe, please don’t be upset with me. You have your health. Be thankful.” Once finishing the sentence, Connor holds up a finger to his mouth to hint to Zoe to stay quiet about him faking. This action is followed by a loud groan, causing both Murphy parents to turn back to face Connor. 

Zoe feels salty now. 

“Thats it! I want out of this family.” She turns and walks off. 

Now Connor is the center of attention once again. “I’m okay, I’ll just sleep…”

Cynthia nods her head and pats Connor. “Okay, great, I’ll be out for the day but give me, or your father, a call if you need anything.”

Cue a fake smile from Connor. “Alright.”

And with the conversation being finished, both Murphy parents leave the room and head out the front door to get their days started. As soon as Conner hears the front door shut, he sits up at his bed and stares at the invisible camera. 

“They bought it.”

Connor stands up from his bed. 

“Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never even doubted it for a single second.”

The older Murphy sibling opens the window blinds to reveal a perfectly sunny day outside. “How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?”

He steps away from the window. 

“This is my ninth ‘sick’ day this semester. If I go for ten I’d probably have to barf up a lung, so I gotta make this day count.” 

Off he goes towards the bathroom to shower.

“Life moves pretty fast.” He’s still speaking to the invisible camera, “If you don’t stop and look around every once and awhile, you’ll miss it.” 

As he speaks hes undressing himself and turning on the water.

Now he’s singing in the shower. Who would suspect the infamous Connor Murphy of singing in the shower?  
Around ten minutes later, Connor is out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his head and a towel around his hips.

He has a call to make.


	2. You'll regret picking up the phone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared fights himself about driving to Connor's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan's gonna be in the next chapter

Suddenly, there’s ringing. It took a moment for Jared to reach down and answer.

“Hello?”

Surprise, surprise, it was Connor Murphy calling him.

“Jared, babe, what’s happening?”

“Very little.”  
His response was dull, but what do you expect from a sick kid?

“How do you feel?”

“Shredded.” 

“Is your mother in your room?”

“No… Where are you?”

“I’m taking the day off! Now, get dressed and come over.” 

“Can’t, idiot, I’m sick.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s all in your head! Now come over.”

“I feel like a complete piece of shit, Connor, I’m not going anywhere. I can’t go anywhere.” Jared can’t even move his body that much, how does Connor expect him to get up and drive?

“I’m so sorry to hear that. Now come over and pick me up.”

He ended the call. Moments later, Connor is calling him back.

“Listen, Kleinman, I know it may feel like you’re dying but you’re not. Now come over and d-”

Jared ends the call, once again.

 

It took an hour before the phone rang again.

“This is ridiculous! You’re making me wait around the house for you to come, Jared!”

“Why can’t you let me rot in peace, Connor?”

“It’s my ninth sick day.”

“I honestly couldn’t care less.”

“Grow up, be a man, and get over here.”

“No.”

“If you’re not here in fifteen minutes consider yourself no longer my friend.”

“I don’t see why you think I care.”

“Well, the only friends you really have are me, Evan, and Alana. So, if you consider the fact that Evan is my boyfriend and the two of us out-number you then you better believe you’re out of the friend group.”

Of course, Connor wouldn’t actually do that to him because he knows that they all sorta need each other, but Jared is scared at the possibility. Somehow, that convinces him to get out of bed and get his act together.

\---

Connor looks back over at the camera

“Twenty bucks says that he’s sitting in his car, trying to decide if he should go out or not.” 

\-- 

Someone better give Connor those twenty bucks because he’s right.

“He’s going to keep calling me and making me feel guilty, isn’t he? Fine, fine. I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go!” Yes, Jared is talking to himself. He places the keys into his car and gets the car started up, but seconds later he takes the keys out.

Then he puts it back in and presses his hands again the horn, honking it over and over again before taking out the keys for a second time. “Forget it. That’s it.” He gets out of the car. “I’m not going.” 

Jared walks away and heads into his house.  
However, minutes later he finds himself in the car again.

He’s going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think! 0;;; There may be some typos but it's almost 1 am for me so this is probably the best you're gonna get outta me at this time.


	3. Calling the office.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Connor needta get Evan outta class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,, its 2 am and I'm real tired.

Back in class, Evan Hansen is falling asleep in his seat. It's becoming harder and harder for him to keep his head up and eyes open each second that the teacher goes on and on about... whatever he's talking about. Evan's not really paying attention. 

Suddenly, the door to the right of the room opens, and Evan takes that as his cue to leave. A tall women steps through the door and asks to speak to the teacher for a moment. There's a small smile on the boy's face as he picks up his jacket from his desk and flings his arms into the sleeves.

"Uh, Evan Hansen? Can I have a word with you, please?"  
Evan nods his head in response, all eyes are on him as he exits the room with the woman.

As they both exit the room the woman gets straight to the point, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your uncle just called and well... your grandmother has just passed."

"W-what? No..." Evan begins to cry.  
The stranger embraces Evan, saying "sh" every few seconds, just to calm him down.  
\------  
Meanwhile, in the office:

"Dead grandmother?" Guess who isn't buying it? That's right, the principle.

"That's right..." the secretary answers. "Yes, that's what Evan's uncle just said. I got Evan notified."

"Pardon me for asking this, but who is this kid going out with it?"

"It's really hard to remember these days... I do see him with Connor Murphy, mostly."

"Could you see if you can get Evan's uncle's number, please?"

"Of course."

And then there's ringing.

The secretary answers, "This is Ed Rooney's office, how can I-"  
The voice doesn't give the women time to finish her sentence, "It's Michael Hansen."  
The phone gets passed over to Ed.  
"Well, what did ya' know? It's Evan's Uncle!"  
Ed takes the phone from the secretary and the secretary walks away.

"Ed Rooney."  
"Ed. It's Michael Hansen."  
"How are you today, uh, sir?"  
"We had some bad luck this morning, as you've probably heard..."  
"Yep. I've heard, I'm all broken up about it." Trust me, Ed doesn't sound like it, "Boy, oh boy, what a blow!"  
"Yeah. Well, its been a tough morning and there's a lot of family business stuff I need to get to, so if you wouldn't mind excusing Evan, I'd appreciate it."  
"Yeah, yeah. Just.... produce the corpse and I'll let him go! I gotta see this "dead grandmother" firsthand."

The secretary eyes Ed.  
Ed reassures it that its just Connor Murphy.

"Michael" becomes a tad bit confused it seems, "Ed, I'm sorry, did you say you want to see the body?"  
"Yep, that;s correct! Get the grandmother right over and I'll dig up Evan, its school policy."  
"Oh?"  
"Yeah."

And... there's more ringing from a separate phone. The secretary answers. "Ed Rooney's office."

"Hello! It's Connor Murphy. Can I talk to Ed please?" 

Connor cant see it, but the secretary is shaking. "Hold for a moment, please."

"Tell yeah what, you don't like my polices? Feel free to just come on down here and tell me that to my face." Ed's words come out of his mouth with extreme confidence, almost as if he's got Connor cornered. Lets face it, would it be that easy to just corner him? No, not in the slightest. Sorry, Ed.

The secretary is making extreme gestures to Ed now, trying to get him to shut his mouth.  
"ED!"

"What?" Ed leans forward in his seat.

"Connor Murphy is on line two!"

Pause for a moment. There, right there. Do you see Ed's face? Well, probably not because this is just a story, but can you imagine his face? The shock, the sudden realization that he had just messed up big time? 

Without changing his expression, Ed moves his figure over to the phone to switch lines. Suddenly, Connor's voice can be heard through the phone.

"Ed! Hey! As you're aware of, I'm not feeling very well today, so I was wondering if you could get Zoe to bring home any work from class today? That would be cool, thanks."  
And then, just like that, Connor hangs up.

Ed switched back to line two.

"Uhm Mr. Hansen? I'm so sorry. I-I-I...I'm so sorry." Now Ed's venting on how much of an idiot he is or something while Jared, who is actually the one speaking to Ed, does a little dance

Connor holds two thumbs up. 

Great, they can end this now.

Jared rolls his eyes, these constant sorrys are really bothering him, "Just please send Evan out. I'll be there to pick him up soon."

Jared hangs up.

Connor high-fives him.

That went better than they both thought it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN A WHILE.
> 
> ILY!! Also, its 2 am so there might be typos (again)
> 
> Anywho, thanks for all the kudos and comments, btw!!
> 
> oh, also AO3 is glitching and showing the wrong notes for the wrong chapters so I'm sorry if that happens

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that it was very short, I hope you enjoyed. I have a chapter two WIP so that should be out sometime this weekend. Xoxo.


End file.
